I’ve been stabbed, chipped a tooth on a flagpole, swallowed a goldfish, got kicked by a horse, and kissed a nun; and let me tell you, the meet last Saturday was every bit as memorable. I saw things that you wouldn’t trust from a video recording.
If you weren’t there, you missed ‘em.
They are gone from history.
Well, actually they’ve become history; just without the flavor.
Or the color.
Yeah, they’re in black and white; for you to read in record books afterwards. Still impressive, just not electrifying. See, even that doesn’t do it justice. Electricity is so, momentary; and this was a four and one half hour extravaganza.
No, a supernova.
Too much.
A swim festival, no that’s not it.
A clinic!
Yep!
That’s what it was.
A freakin’ clinic!
Hey, we’re putting on a clinic next April. This was a preview of coming attractions!!
We didn’t plan this. It just happened.
What does the TWIM shirt back say?
“Go ahead, underestimate us, that’ll be fun”?
That’s what we all had here. A lotta fun! We were settin’ records here and breaking records there (17 new team records!).
And just generally having a blast.
It’s 500 miles from Seattle to Bend, roundtrip. That’s about the distance that most of us swim in a year of training. I flew down. A 33 minute flight. They had a surprise for me, though. I got there early and waited for an hour and a half. Got up to use the restroom and on a whim I decided to check my flight again on the big board.
They changed my departure gate!
It said the S satellite. I thought that was for international departures so I went up to a couple of nice Delta Airline gals to ask. I was wearing my TWIM sweatshirt and it caught one of their attention.
“Do you swim for them?” As she pointed to my torso.
“I do. Heading down to Bend for a swim meet.”
To my surprise she continued with, “Do you know Colleen Wahlstrom? She’s on your team, right?”
“Oh my gosh, she sure is, I just saw her last weekend!” I answered.
This small talk continued for a few more minutes and before I knew it, I had a free upgrade to first class (thanks Colleen!) and a ride (so I could save my strength apparently) to the subway that goes to the S wing. It pays to know people.
And the 500 miles of training?
Of course, the training is all well and good. I know, grasshopper, it is the journey that is important. And I agree. But it’s nice to have that party every once in a while, to show your stuff and cut loose.
Who were the “party-goers”?
The line-up.
Holly.
That’s right.
She has only one name. Yeah. Like Cher. Like Beyonce. Like Oprah.
Holly.
The format suited her to a tee.
It’s that IMer blood. She didn’t take the 23 and Me test. Didn’t have to. She knows where she’s from. Holly Head, on the North of Anglesey; an island in the Irish Sea. That’s where all her ancestors honed their skills and did their IM stuff.
Uh-oh.
I just looked at the map again and that says “Holy Head”.
Sorry.
So, she’s probably not from there; we woulda seen her halo. Where she came from is irrelevant; it’s where she’s going that’s interesting.
To the top.
Listen to this; she won the 100 back, the 50 breast, the 50 free and the 100 IM. The only race she didn’t win, she got second in. That was the 100 Fly. Sonja Skinner beat her. She’s a perennial top three nationally. Holly turned the tables though and beat her by .66 seconds in the 50 free and by .67 seconds in the 100 IM. Oh, and all the times but one are top six nationally. Five new team records, too. Dang girl!! I want some of what she’s been havin’!
The Velvet Fogg was there too. Did you think he would miss this one!? I mean, it’s an IM meet. Weird that the first two letters of the word “impressive” are “IM”. Coincidence? Maybe. Alien interference? Well, ok, no. How about divine providence? You never know.
I’m amazed that in the name Stephen Fogg there is neither an “I” nor an “M”.
IMpressive though, he certainly was. This guy’s swimming over 3,000+ yards per day and ain’t missing’ many days. No wonder he shines at these parties.
He trashed the competition.
The closest anyone got to him in his age group was 18.01 seconds in the 100 free! And look at his times. The difference between the seed time and his actual time in the 100 Fly was .32 seconds. He busted his seed time by .82 in the 100 free. He was only a little over 2 seconds off his seed time in the 200 IM. His backstroke 100 time ranks him 9th in the nation. 100 Fly; same place. Makes sense his 200 IM time is his best; top six nationally!! Oh, and he set or broke five team records on his way to six first place finishes!
IMpressive!!
Brent Barnes attacked his best event, the 100 breast. And for good measure swam the 1500! He set a new team record in that one. And he anchored that record setting medley relay. By the way, coincidence of coincidences, the name “Brent” in old English means “Holy” or “high place”. Maybe he’s from that place in the Irish Sea. Or maybe it just means those two were destined to be together. By the way, he won the 100 breast.
And El Presidente! Fresh off his appointment to the PNA Board of Directors! No, really! They know talent when they see it.
Now, let’s see. What division would Ironman Dan Underbrink be active in? The “Big Hurt” (aka Brute) division?!
Of course.
He’s like Superman’s older brother. Carl! Did you get hand-me-down goggles and fins when you guys were kids? How about capes?
Imagine starting your meet with the 200 fly. Then 200s in the back, breast and free. Don’t forget the 400 IM, you know, just to balance things out. Not done yet!? How about the 1500! And then, finally, swimming fly on that record setting 400 medley relay. “Amazing” just doesn’t do it. I’m at a loss for words (a pig just flew by).
Did I mention of his six individual events, five were new team records! Five firsts and a third. Four of his swims were top 20 nationally!
And that was me, typing away on the typewriter, right behind the lane 6 block on that second race. My time showed it, unfortunately. I’ve got to learn to multi-task. Nothing like being there in the trenches, shoulder to shoulder with this group, tho’. I just had to write about it. If Holly and Brent came from the Irish Sea people, I came from the Hieroglyphic people. Go ahead and try and shut me up, that’ll be fun. A couple fourth place finishes, a third and a first made my day complete. One new team record. And I swam breast on that relay.
The meet was well run (1st Masters meet in Oregon since COVID!!) and the people were great. Special thanks to meet director Bob Bruce, Central Oregon Masters (COMA), all the volunteers and all the officials that made the meet happen.
Quality people.
Willard Lamb was there. At Worlds a few years ago, he swam the 1500 M. And they split him on the 50, 100, 200, 400, & 800. All world records. 95-99 year old division. He turns 99 on Christmas Eve. And he still dives off the block!
Inspirational!
Course, if you want inspiration I have to mention Kayla Wopshall. An accident left her a paraplegic and confined to a wheelchair a number of years ago. Sensation and motor control steadily returned though only to plateau subsequently.
She finally found out why.
Muscular Sclerosis!!
My golly!
And this gal is only 37!!
Did I mention she’s faculty at UC Berkeley!? Teaches Geology remotely. That’s a favorite subject of mine so we had great conversations. Amazing person!
And sure, it was strange to have a nosebleed clinic in the airport. I didn’t realize Bend was that high up.
3600 feet!
You can tell the outsiders from the residents by the bloodstains on their masks.
And that weather!
Holly and Brent as well as Steve and Dan drove the last half the morning of the meet; in the middle of a snowstorm!! And the whole time, because the pool is an outdoor 50 meter pool (w/ bulkhead for 25 M), the fabric cover was being buffeted constantly by 40-50 mph gusts. Snow falling intermittently; it felt like Alaska.
You gotta want it!
Oh, and in the future make sure you keep an eye on your swim logo’d shirts and caps. Genuine articles are selling for a bundle in crypto, online. I knew this was going to happen. Are we becoming too successful? I read my stuff and I think so. I’m signing autographs at the airport! Oh that’s right, that was for my upgrade. Seriously, though, we’re a pretty big deal. It’s all about gettin’ the word out.
Communication.
What we DON’T have here is a failure to communicate. Which reminds me; the warden, in the 60’s movie Cool Hand Luke, Strother Martin. #11 all time movie memorable lines; telling Paul Newman’s character, “What we have here is a failure to communicate!” Hard to believe he was a very fast swimmer and an incredible diver, too. Third in the ’36 Olympic diving trials. Taught sailors to swim in the Navy, during WWII. Saved a lot of lives.
Well, another one’s in the book! Time just keeps on marching. Hey, the world record in the 1500M free back in 1936 was 19:07!
It’s 14:30 now!!
19:07 would’ve got the guy second . . .in the 50+ men’s group nowadays.
Times a’wastin’!
Don’t blink.
What are you waiting for?
Calendar’s down to its last page with another dozen in the wings.
Bellevue Mile and Anacortes coming up.
We have history to write!
And finally, to everyone of my TWIM teammates and their families and friends; have the very merriest of a holiday season with the wishes of the best life can offer in the new year!
Hail TWIM/Blue & White!!
